Here is an article that Elsa prepared for the US Embassy in Botswana Website. Unfortunately, it did not get published there but it did make the most recent edition of the Peace Corps Newsletter in Botswana. Enjoy!
Peace Corps has been the best thing for our marriage and the worst. Peace Corps service is always a study in contrasts – the juxtaposition of many things. “How is it going?” my friends back home ask, “I love it; except for the times I hate it”. I have a friend who lived in Africa for several decades; her rely to that comment, “I know exactly what you mean”.
Experiencing our first Christmas in a 375 square foot house with temperatures inside approaching 102 degrees F, does not lead to great marriage relations. Missing friends, family, and even snow, with self-pity and doubt reaching ever increasing levels, something not too pretty was brewing . The temptation to just emotionally check out was strong. Being crowded into that tiny, hot, and lonely space, made emotional check out seem like a very reasonable choice.
But then there is the flip side of the coin – the marriage building experiences. The opportunities to truly be partners in a number of joint ventures have been very positive and part of a goal of ours for many years. Raising kids and career obligations rarely allowed for a project where we both were equal partners – in commitments and load sharing. It was no one’s fault – it’s just where we were at that time of life. The Peace Corps has opened opportunities to envision, plan, organize, and execute projects that have truly been both of our dreams. Jeff in his capacity as a volunteer at an NGO called Vision Support Group and me, as a volunteer at Xhosa Clinic, planned and executed a successful HIV testing event in February, 2013. We shared in the responsibility of running planning meetings, brainstorming sessions and setbacks, the logistical planning, letter writing and ultimately the satisfaction of being involved in the project from start to finish. Of course we could not have managed this without the assistance of both the clinic staff and Jeff’s boss.
Aid work is now-a-days about sustainability and our second joint project took us in the direction of a “Training of Trainers” (T.O.T.). Church leaders, elders, and pastors are called upon by the District Commissioner here in Mahalapye to be increasingly involved in family, couples, marriage, and youth counseling. “We need more training, There is no money for training” is the familiar loop in situations like these. While not counselors by vocation, it is something we have much experience in as mentors. Having been married for 37 years carries some weight as well, no doubt. Our Peace Corps Training promotes the concept of “Self Starting”. If you see a need, try to meet it. Don’t think about the qualifications you don’t have – think about the need and the opportunity. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and see what you end up with. Keep dodging the setbacks and see what shakes out. Invite 30 people to your event and if only 2 show up, feel successful. Because even in just 2, you have multiplied your skills and wisdom years past your own Peace Corps service. This philosophy is a good starting point for many Peace Corps projects. So with no money, no venue, and no curriculum, we began.
On March 20, we presented not to 2 but to 14 which led to a second invitation for May 5th where we presented to 16 church and community leaders and their spouses. We had started the project with a blank sheet of paper – best practices, what works – pitfalls to avoid. Within a few hours the outline for a curriculum took shape. Our next step was to carve out 4 Tuesdays to spend together fleshing out and expanding the outline. Back and forth – write and rewrite – remembering and rejoicing but gradually it emerged – the curriculum – right there on paper. It was a compilation – a great deal of how we had managed to make our relationship endure and in fact, thrive for 37 years.
Peace Corps, Botswana has been the ultimate test and the ultimate prize. TIA – This is Afica.
Jeff and Elsa 
I am amazed at the two of you and enjoy hearing about your life within the Peace Corp ! Will keep you both in my prayers ! Jackie
oh my, that was nice to read – I haven’t written in a very long time and was feeling like “what is wrong with you Iris?” – But I don’t have much of interest to say.
What got me to send you a word was the last line of your letter – my daughter is down in South Africa – and when she first went there – in a lot of situations she found herself in she would say “this is Africa, Lisa”.
All goes well here. I became a great grandmother a few months ago to Elisabeth Grace. She is a cutie of course. We’ve talked a couple of times on Skype, and she visited once but it is fun having a great granddaughter anyway.
Here it is the 15th of September already. We are getting ready to have our missions conference in October. I am now on the mission board – praise the Lord for an actual “job” in the church. I’ve been praying as to what the Lord would have me do – it’s been hard doing nothing, but when you are almost 77 there isn’t too much you CAN do! But I am very happy that the Lord placed me here, for however long He wants me to be here.
The end of October comes another thing in my life – we go to FL for the winter months. We are hoping that we can Skype the mission meetings – we’ll see. I do love it in FL though because I can walk wherever I want to go – it is a gated trailer park and I’ve never heard of anything happening to anyone – so I walk to the games I play at night, etc. Walk to anything else I want to attend also. Even church Sunday mornings – there is a non-denominational church that meets and there are around 250 that attend each Sunday. The preacher is nice and he preaches from the Bible – he isn’t Pastor Matt, or Pastor Vic, but he’ll do.
Hang in there – sounds like you are very, very busy there.
Love & hugs to you both, Iris
On Sun, Sep 15, 2013 at 8:08 AM, Jeff and Elsa
I appreciate your candor and am not at all surprised by your disclosure of the challenges to your marriage that this experience has posed. But – YOU HAVE PREVAILED! – as individuals and as a couple. I am not at all surprised by THIS!
I was amazed and awed when Els first told me of your plans, yet sad when you left. I have been inspired each day of your physical absence here; your presence in my heart,mind and prayers has been constant. I can’t wait to see you again and hear in person the daily travails of your life-changing experience. Miss you!
great article elsa, helps us to better understand the journey you are on
Spent 10 minutes typing a note and I must have done something wrong as it is not posted. Bottom line was God knew exactly what He was doing by send you and Jeff to Botswnna…you have been such a blessing to the people there. Praying for you and looking forward to seeing you.
Wow! Elsa you write beautifully. When I read what you’ve written, I am hurting and feeling with you. I always envy people who write so profoundly as to bring the reader to a place where they can feel a bit of “where you are” or what you have been through or are going through. Amazing!
You guys look great! 37 years together, eh? We celebrated 26 in August. We are catching up!
We are finally making the decision to settle here in Regina and have bought a house. We were in a townhouse and have sold that and are moving this week to a house with a backyard for the pooch and a basement bedroom for Sharayah, who graduated from high school in June. She is working while she is figuring out what she wants to do for post-secondary education. We took possession of the house today and are moving in on Friday. I am off work tomorrow and Wednesday to paint and unpack boxes that we are already packed up that we can move ourselves. The house has the space we need – we just have to make it ours with paint and some minor cosmetic things. I am feeling relief that we have no plans to move again anytime in the near future. That has taken a huge toll on me and I just want to plant my feet here. We miss Nova Scotia and family, but are where we feel God has placed us. We are going home for Christmas for 2 weeks and look forward to seeing everyone. It’s always tough bouncing around to see everyone and both families, but that’s the life of living far away from everyone. Scotia will stay here with friends. She isn’t very excited about all of the boxes around everywhere and she misses her couch and chair. I shampooed them and am not allowing her on them until I get covering and get them placed in the new house. She is feeling a bit displaced I do believe.
When are you done serving in the Peace Corps?
Blessings to you both and hugs,
Cheryl